


you showed me colors you know i can't see with anyone else

by iclopaathia



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Bearded Steve Rogers, Bottom Tony Stark, Getting Back Together, M/M, Minor Bucky Barnes/Sam Wilson, Minor Sharon Carter/Natasha Romanov, Parent Steve Rogers, Parent Tony Stark, Post-Divorce, Top Steve Rogers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-03
Updated: 2020-12-09
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:28:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27855098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iclopaathia/pseuds/iclopaathia
Summary: In which Steve Rogers doesn't deal well with his ex-husband's new boyfriend.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, Tony Stark/Tiberius Stone
Comments: 15
Kudos: 157





	1. one

"Dad's seeing someone."

"What?" Steve asks, turning to Harley after he puts Peter to bed. It was way past their bedtime and Steve could only pray that Tony wouldn't know he let them stay up that late.

"Dad's _seeing_ someone," Harley repeats, rolling his eyes. Jesus, sometimes the kid's mannerisms mimicked Tony's so much that it made Steve's chest hurt.

"Yeah, well, your Dad sees someone new every month," Steve says, acting as if it doesn't bother him every time Tony gets a new partner. "Let's get you to bed, squirt."

"This time he's serious, though," Harley says, yawning as Steve picked him up.

Steve could feel his heart stop but that's not right because he doesn't care. He doesn't care that his ex-husband who he got a divorce with three years ago is moving on.

He doesn't.

He _shouldn't_.

__________________________________

"Harley, stop bothering your brother," Steve warns, looking at them through the rear view mirror.

"Then tell Pete to stop being such a wimp," Harley says, shaking that big toy spider of his around. Peter _hated_ that toy but it was Harley's favorite. 

"Pops, tell him to stop. Tell him to-"

"Do you want me to tell your dad that you guys were up until 11 p.m yesterday?" Steve asks and that immediately makes them shut up. Of course Steve would never snitch because Tony would chew him out the most over it but what the kids don't know won't hurt them.

Steve was dropping them over at Tony's. It was how they worked. Tony got the kids for the whole week and he got them during the weekends, if he was in-country. It was their routine and Steve liked it. Yeah, sure, he _would_ like to spend more time with his own kids but since that doesn't work out, he won't complain. He was okay with it, really.

As Steve pulled up to the house, he could see that Tony was waiting for them on the driveway. He always did, every Sunday evening. Tony would wait for them and Steve would drop the kids off and, sometimes, maybe even get invited in. It was his little window to Tony's life.

"Dad!" As soon as the car stopped, Peter was jumping out of his seat to run towards Tony.

_He always_ was _his favorite,_ Steve thinks fondly.

"Heya, kiddo," Tony says, bending down to pick Peter up. "Had fun at Pops' yesterday?"

As Peter prattled on about what they did or didn't do, Steve starts unloading the luggage. Harley helped, he started insisting that he would a few months ago because he was 'the oldest' even though he barely had a year on Peter. It was cute.

After the luggage is out and everything's done, Tony finally looks at Steve and he feels his heart leap through his mouth.

Steve hates it. Hates that even after all these years, after everything, a single look could incite such reactions from him.

"Hey, Steve," Tony says, his smile soft.

"Hi." Steve hopes that Tony doesn't notice how flustered he is.

"Thanks for taking care of these hooligans yesterday," Tony says, ruffling Harley's hair.

"God, Dad, stop it!"

"Anyways, wanna come in?" Tony offers, already turning back towards the house.

As if Steve could say no. It was the only thing he looked forward to every week, when he could spend time with Tony and the kids and pretend like everything was fine, like everything was _like before._

"I would love to-"

"Babe? Are the kids here yet?"

There was a man coming out of the house. The house that Steve and Tony had bought all those years ago in hope of building a family, a stranger was coming out of it and was now standing beside Tony, his hand on his waist as if _he_ belonged there instead of Steve.

"Ah! You must be Steve Rogers. Tony's told me so much about you," the man says, holding out his hand.

"Only good things, I hope," Steve replies, forcing out a smile even as his insides twisted and turned at an alarming speed.

"Enough to make even me jealous," he laughed.

The man was a tall and well-built blond. He wasn't as big as Steve but rarely anyone ever was. Handsome, Steve thinks despondently.

"Steve, this is Ty- Tiberius Stone. He's my new-" Tony pauses, thinks a little. "He's my new boyfriend."

Steve wants to vomit.

"Nice to meet you, Tiberius," he says instead.

"Aren't you coming in?" Tony asks, shuffling Peter a little in his arms.

"No. Gosh, Tony- I, I just remembered that I had this meeting today that I just _can't_ miss. I have to go, I'm sorry." Steve needed to get out of there and he needed to get out of there fast.

"Again, huh?" Tony says with that sad little smile he always used to get whenever Steve missed their date nights or the kids' school function because of his work.

"I'm sorry."

"You're leaving?" Peter asks, sadly, and Steve wishes that he could say no. Wishes that he wouldn't have to go anywhere and stay here, with them, forever and ever.

"I have to go, buddy."

"But you always stay for dinner on Sunday."

"Let it go, Pete," Harley says, always trying to be the mature one. "Pops is busy."

"I'll see you guys next week," Steve says, opening his car door. He just had to get away from there and then he would calm down.

Hopefully.

__________________________________

Steve remembers the day they got married so vividly that it felt like it happened yesterday.

Barely out of college but so, so in love that they felt like they could go against the world together.

The ceremony hadn't been much. In fact there was barely a ceremony, it was just a group of friends in a dingy apartment with some wedding papers.

"And now you may kiss the groom," Thor said, his booming voice echoing across the room as everybody cheered.

"Whew! Get it, Stevie!" Bucky whistled as Sam elbowed him in the gut.

"Can't believe that dumbass got married before me," Rhodey says, sighing as Tony mocked throwing a bouquet towards him, always the one for dramatics.

That was probably the happiest day of Steve's life. But he had been so scared too. So, so scared. He was scared that he wouldn't be able to give Tony the life he deserved. Tony who had been born with anything a person could ever want for, Tony who had thrown it all away just to be with Steve, Tony who was frankly way too good for him, if Steve was being honest.

Steve had told him as such, his fears and doubts, and Tony had laughed.

"And how would you know what I want, huh?"

"It- it's not about that-" Steve starts but doesn't get to finish.

"What _I_ want, Mr. Steve Stark-Rogers, is for you to be there for me whenever I need you to be," Tony says, his smile so fond and eyes so loving that Steve could feel his heart swell. "Maybe I did enjoy owning all those expensive stuff, getting to try so many different things, but for you Steve, I'd throw it away all over again."

That day Steve had vowed to do anything and everything he could to make sure Tony was happy, to insure that they would be okay.

_Ironic_ Steve now thinks. _That the more I would try for a better future, the more it would drive us apart._

__________________________________

As he watched Steve drive away, Tony wonders when it all started going wrong.

_We used to be so happy_ Tony thinks. _What happened?_

"Dad, I'm cold," Harley says, tugging at Tony's sleeve.

Harley was a good kid, though mischievous at times. He, honestly, understood a lot of things that Peter just couldn't. Peter, on the other hand, was very soft-spoken, so sensitive that Tony worried.

Tony loved his kids so, _so_ much. From the moment he and Steve had decided to adopt them, almost a decade ago, he had been smitten. Tony had been so scared, terrified that he would just repeat the cycle of abuse even though Steve had assured him that he would be a great dad, but the moment he saw them Tony knew that he would love them until his heart gave out.

To say that they were his only source of comfort for a long while after the divorce would not be an overstatement.

"Yeah, let me just get the bags-"

"Not to worry. What are these guns for if not to carry my beloved's bags," Ty says, flexing his arms a little.

"Show off," Tony says, letting out an exasperated sigh.

"You love it."

Tony and Ty had been childhood friends even though their fathers had been business rivals. Growing apart after high-school, Tony hadn't seen Ty in almost twenty years when he'd shown up at the local bar.

Tony had gotten quite close with the now CEO of Viastone, closer than he ever was to the man before.

Ty was great. He was nice, funny, knew exactly what to do and what to say. He set time aside for Tony even though he must have been busy heading a multimillion dollar company. Though the kids hadn't quite warmed up to him yet, Tony was sure that they would, eventually.

Ty was great.

Ty was perfect.

Ty wasn't Steve.

__________________________________

"Who's that big lug over there?"

"Oh, leave me alone, Buck."

After driving away from Tony's, Steve hadn't gone back to his own apartment. He couldn't go back there, not to the place that felt way too big for one single person to live in, the place that only felt marginally like a home when Harley and Peter came over. So he went to the place he always went to whenever he felt like that, to Sam and Bucky's bar, and there he was hunched over a drink in a closing bar while the owners cleaned up.

"Listen, pal, I'm going to have to start charging you overtime if you keep sitting here like this," Bucky says, taking a seat beside him. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Nothing's wro-"

"Stark's got a new boyfriend," Sam cuts in.

"Sam!"

"And? He's been with other people before," Bucky asks, visibly confused.

Steve _knows_ that Bucky is right. That there was no reason for him to get this upset. Harley had told him that Tony was seeing someone new and it's not like Tony hadn't dated other people after the divorce. Hell, even Steve had been with others. But seeing that man, a stranger, in _his_ house in a time that was supposed to be his and his family's alone, made Steve want to punch something.

"I _know_ that, I know. It's just-" Steve sighs, takes another sip of his drink. "Nothing. It's nothing."

"Who's the unlucky bastard anyways?" Bucky and Tony never really did warm up to each other. Both too head strong for their own good, Steve thinks.

"You know, I don't appreciate-"

"Just answer the question."

"Ty, Ty- Tyler? Tyler Stone or something like that. I can't really remember." Nor does Steve want to remember. "Ty Stone."

"Well, just by hearing his name I can tell that he's probably a complete tool," Bucky says, patting Steve's back in a show of support. "Stark never deserved you anyway, buddy."

Steve had gotten so used to Bucky's little jabs against Tony that he didn't even bother to respond. He knows that Bucky still held a grudge because Tony had been the one who wanted the divorce. 

_Always so overprotective_ Steve thinks fondly.

"I should go." It was getting late and Steve had work the next day. As usual.

"You could just stay the night, you know," Sam offers, always the good friend

"Nah. Wouldn't want to disturb your nightly routine," Steve teases. That earns him an elbow from Bucky and a laugh from Sam and it's nice. Steve feels nice. He always does after he visits Sam and Bucky.

As Steve turns to leave, Bucky calls out to him.

"Hey, Stevie, don't forget that Nat and Sharon's wedding is next week."

"Yeah, yeah."

How could Steve forget? They had all been planning this grand event for the better part of last year and it was finally getting close. About time if Steve said so himself.

_Tony's going to be there,_ he thinks. _I wonder what he's going to wear._

As Steve drives home, he decides to do something that he had never done before. He takes another detour and gets out at a night-club.

The party scene had never been Steve's forté. It had been Tony's, years ago, when they were both young. In fact, they met at a party that Bucky had dragged Steve to in his freshman year.

_Not the time_ Steve thinks.

As Steve enters the club, he could already feel eyes on him. Steve wasn't stupid, he knew what he looked like and that it wouldn't be hard, all things considered, to take someone home if he wanted. As expected, it isn't long before he's leaving with a very attractive woman on his arm.

That night Steve doesn't go back to his apartment. Instead, he spends it in a cheap motel, bedding a nameless woman.

As he fucks into her pliant body, he can't help but wonder if Tony and Stone were doing the same thing right now. If that man, that _stranger_ , is fucking his husband on _their_ bed, in _their_ home.

He wonders if Tony liked it the way he always did. He wonders if Stone could hit all of Tony's spots like Steve could. He wonders, he wonders-

It's not long before Steve's coming with Tony's name on his mouth.

__________________________________

"I still don't understand why I can't come."

Tony sighed, pausing from tying his tie. Ty had been like this since yesterday and no matter how many times Tony explained, he refused to understand.

"It's a family thing, Ty." _Plus, I haven't told everyone we're dating yet._ "It's going to be awkward for both of us if you go. And don't you have that meeting of yours to go to, anyway?"

"I'd ditch it if you'd asked," Ty said, trying to run a hand up Tony's shirt. _He's going to ruin my damn outfit_ Tony thinks.

"Is _he_ going to be there?" Ty asks and Tony knows exactly who he means. He should have known that that was what this was really about. Ty had been acting weird ever since he met Steve last week. He had been coming over more and more often, for one.

"Ty, you-"

"Dad! Tell Harley to give me my hat back!"

Just then Tony's bedroom door flies open and his favorite little menaces come rushing in.

"Harley, have you been bullying your little brother again?" Tony asks, exasperated but still thankful for the interruption.

"He looked stupid in that hat, anyway. I'm just doing him a favor," Harley replies, not even looking a little bit guilty.

"Give it back! Give it back!" Peter starts stomping his foot and Tony could see that he was on the verge of full-on crying.

"Give it back to him right now, kid."

"Fine, fine. I'll go get it."

After that, it doesn't take a lot of time for them to get ready and before Tony knows it, they're all set to leave.

"We'll talk when I get back," Tony says, leaning up to kiss Ty. Ty tried to deepen it and started pulling Tony in by the waist.

"Ty, not- not now." Tony pushes him away.

"It's always a no with you nowadays," he says, sighing and Tony thinks that he should probably feel guilty but he feels nothing but relief as he gets into his car.

"We'll talk later," he repeats as he drives away.

Tony decides that it was going to be a good day. The weather was nice- warm for late autumn, it was Sharon's wedding and there was nothing, _nothing,_ that could bring him down-

"Is Pops going to be there?"

_Oh. I almost forgot._

"Yeah. Yeah, he is."

Tony hated seeing Steve. Hated how uncomfortably tight his chest got whenever he saw the stupidly handsome man, hated how no matter how many times he tried to move on he wasn't able to even though Steve had clearly succeeded in doing so.

Tony hated how much he was in love with his ex-husband.

The wedding venue was beautiful. Tony had helped design it so, _obviously._ He could see Barnes and Wilson over by the mountain of gifts. Pepper was sitting all the newly arriving guests with the help of Rhodey, ever so diligent. Thor was entertaining a bunch of kids with magic tricks that Tony was sure he'd learnt from his brother by the fountain. Steve was nowhere to be seen.

After dropping the kids off with Thor, Tony goes to visit Sharon's dressing room.

"You're early," Sharon says, turning from the mirror.

"I couldn't very well be late to my favorite cousin's wedding now, can I?"

"I'm your only cousin," she huffs, rolling her eyes.

"Exactly."

Sharon looked so beautiful. Though not completely ready yet, Tony knew that she would outshine everyone there, though he might've been a little biased. _Aunt Peggy would've been so proud,_ he thinks. He's just about to tell her that when he gets interrupted.

"Hey, Sharon, I was just dropping by to-"

_He looks so good_ Tony thinks. _He always looks so good._

Steve Rogers was standing there in all his glory in a form fitting blue suite and a tie that was slightly coming undone.

_All these years and he still doesn't know how to do it right._

"Hey, Tony," Steve greets him, bashful, a hand behind his neck and Tony wonders how he does it. How a man his size could look so adorable, sometimes.

Tony knows that he should say something back, that he couldn't just keep staring at his ex-husband like an idiot. "Hey-"

"I swear to God if you two start your bullshit on _my_ wedding day," Sharon says, throwing up her hands.

"What? What bullsh-"

"Out! Out, both of you. Let a bride get ready in peace, will you?"

After getting, unfairly, booted from the dressing room, Steve turns to him.

"How've you been, Tony?" Steve asks and Tony rolls his eyes.

"You just saw me last week," he reminds him.

"No, I mean, with Tyler. How's it going with Tyler?"

"Who?" Tony asks, confused.

"Tyler, you know, your new boyfriend."

"Tiberius."

"Huh?"

"Not Tyler. It's Tiberius."

"Yeah. Him," Steve says and Tony forces down a laugh. The thought of Ty being named Tyler Stone was just so funny to him for some reason.

"Great, actually. Ty's great. You'd like him," Tony says, walking a little in front of him.

"Yeah?" Steve gets this sad look in his eyes sometimes and Tony doesn't know why. _That's not right_ he always thinks. _Steve should never be sad._

"How's your work?" Tony asks, trying to change the subject.

"My- my work? My work, it's going-" Steve starts saying but Tony gets distracted by his tie. It looked like it was going to fall apart any second.

"Hold still."

"Huh?"

"Just hold still."

Tony starts undoing the loosely tied knot, painfully aware of how close he was to the man he hadn't been able to stop loving. The man he would never be able to stop loving, really.

" _How_ have you not learnt how to do it right, even after all these years?" Tony asks, a fond sigh escaping his mouth.

"I always thought you'd be there to do it for me."

Tony knows that Steve doesn't mean anything by it. That it's meaningless chatter, pointless banter but that doesn't stop his heart from beating so loud that he feels like Steve could hear it. Tony looks up and he sees Steve staring down at him and if he would just lean up, just a little, then they would be-

"Pops! You're here!"

The moment is broken as Peter comes rushing towards Steve, Harley following close behind. Tony moves away as fast as he can.

"Whoa, slow down there, bud," Steve says, laughing while picking Peter up. He always looked so happy when he was with them. Tony felt such tremendous guilt sometimes, guilt that he was the one who was keeping Steve away from the children he adored so much.

"I tried to stop him, you know," Harley whispers, standing beside Tony.

" _You_ are too nosy, mister," Tony replied, pinching his too-smart-for-his-own-good kid's cheek.

__________________________________

Steve fucked up.

He knows he fucked up. He shouldn't have said that. No matter what his feelings were, he shouldn't have said that to his ex-husband. Especially to his ex-husband who was dating someone else. 

Even though it looked like, just for a second, that Tony was leaning in for a kiss but that couldn't have been right. Great, now Steve fucked up _and_ he's imagining things.

Tony had left the kids with him while he went to help the others in setting everything up. The ceremony was going to start any moment. Looking around, Steve couldn't help but think back to his own wedding day. It hadn't been much and Steve had always thought that they would get a more proper ceremony when they were older and able to afford it. Renewing their vows while surrounded by friends and family. 

Obviously, that didn't work out.

"Aunty Nat looks so pretty," Peter says, pointing at Natasha who was waiting at the altar.

She really, really did. Steve was so happy for her. That she would be able to grab such simple happiness after everything she went through, he was just _so_ happy for her.

The bells started ringing and then there was Tony and Sharon. He was walking her down the aisle.

They both looked so beautiful. Sharon, in her stunning white dress and Tony in a gorgeous red and gold suite. They both looked so beautiful but Steve couldn't keep his eyes off of Tony. He was transfixed and for the briefest of the briefest moments, Tony locked eyes with him and Steve didn't know why but he felt like crying.

His heart felt like it was going to burst out of his chest.

__________________________________

Steve had proposed just a week before graduation.

Walking back to their shitty apartment after a night of celebrating with their friends, tipsy and full of youthful bravado, he had knelt right there on that secluded street corner at the ass crack of dawn and asked the love of his life to marry him. 

"Marry me," Steve says, taking Tony's hand. He knows that he's going to say yes. After all, Tony loved him so much.

They loved each other _so_ much.

"Steve, what-" Tony looked a little confused. Still in a drunken haze.

"I know. Okay, I know that I don't have much going on for me right now, that you could do _so_ much better but Tony, I love you. I don't even know what I'm going to do with my future but what I do know is that I want to spend every moment of it with you." Steve knows that, normally, Tony would call him a sap, tease him for being too cheesy but he doesn't care. This was the most important moment of his life and like hell is he going to mess it up.

"I wanted to be the one who asked, idiot," Tony says and Steve could see tears in his eyes and, at that moment, there was nothing more he wanted to do than kiss it all away.

They had made love countless times that night and every time he spent himself inside Tony, Steve had vowed to make this man so happy. That _they_ would be so happy, together for a whole lifetime.

_We were so young_ Steve now thinks. _So young._


	2. two

Time flies by after the wedding and, before Steve knows it, it's December.

Steve had spent the last month like he always did- wake up, go to work, come back home, sleep, repeat until it's the weekend when Harley and Peter would come over. Then do it all over again.

He was going about his usual Friday morning, doing paperwork in his office, when he'd gotten the most unusual call. It was from Harley's school, which had never happened before.

"Hello, is this Mr. Steve Rogers?"

"Yes, this is he. Who's calling?"

"Yes, hello, this is from Avengers Institute and I'm calling about a Mr. Harley Stark-Rogers-"

"Is something wrong?" Steve immediately sits up, his heart racing a hundred miles a minute.

_Did something happen? Was he hurt? Oh my God-_

"No, no, nothing so serious but I would appreciate it if you could come over immediately."

"I'm on my way." Steve had already gotten his jacket and was almost sprinting his way out of his office.

Usually, all calls from school went over to Tony. Steve used to get them, before, when they were together and even then not so much because he used to be so busy and Tony, who worked from home, would handle it. So now that _he_ gets the call, there must've been something seriously wrong even though the caller had said there wasn't. He thinks about all the ways it could've gone wrong, about how his baby boy might be hurt and curses his car for not going faster.

Steve reaches the school in record time and makes his way to the principal's office as fast as he could. The first thing he notices when he gets there is Harley sitting there with a bloody nose and Steve knew, he _knew_ , that he had gotten hurt even though-

"Mr. Rogers, please take a seat." The principal, a thin red haired man in glasses, gestures to an empty seat in front of him.

"What- what-"

"Please calm down and take a seat, Mr. Rogers."

Steve takes a deep breath and takes a seat beside Harley who looked more sullen than he had ever seen him before. "What happened?"

"Harley, do you want to explain to your father what you did?"

Harley doesn't respond.

"Well, your son has been acting erratically for quite a number of days and it looks like, today, it finally culminated in him attacking another student for no discernable reason."

"Is this true, Harley?" Steve asks, shocked. Though always a little mischievous, his son had never been the violent type.

"Pertaining to his wishes, I called you instead of Mr. Stark even though I have no idea why-"

"I want to go home," Harley says, suddenly. "I want to go home."

After filling out the necessary paperwork, Steve goes back to his car where Harley's waiting for him in the front seat.

"You want to tell me why you did what you did today, bud," Steve asks even though he knows he's not going to get an answer.

As expected, there's no response.

"Well, your Dad's not going to-"

"Don't! Don't tell him."

"Harley, I can't-"

"Please!" Harley pleads and he looks so desperate that Steve's heart aches.

"Okay, okay. He's going to notice the bloody nose, you know."

"Then don't take me home," Harley says and suddenly his eyes light up. "Take me to your apartment."

Steve couldn't understand why Harley was behaving like this. Why he was so against the idea of Tony knowing that he got into a fight but at that moment he looked so small, his kid who sometimes felt way too mature for his age, that Steve couldn't refuse him even if he tried.

"Well, alright. Let me just call him to tell him where you'll be for the rest of the day. He worries about you, you know." Steve ruffled Harley's hair as he got out of the car.

Things had been awkward with Tony after the wedding even though it felt like only Steve who was overly conscious whenever he was around. He couldn't help it, Steve's chest felt tighter and tighter each time he saw the man. He had even stopped going to dinner on Sundays at the house because the thought of being in the same room with Tony and Stone whilst they made goo goo eyes at each other made his blood boil.

"Hey, Tony. This is Steve."

"Steve? Is something wrong?"

"No, no, nothing's wrong. Why would something be-"

"You never call unless something's wrong. What happened?"

"Nothing's wrong, Jesus. I was just calling to let you know that I picked Harley up early-"

"What!?"

"-and that he'll be staying with me-"

"Steve, you can't just-"

"-for the rest of the day. Please, Tony, let me have this."

Steve could hear a sigh coming from the other end.

"Why?"

"Father-son bonding, you know. Can't a man want to spend time with his own son?"

"Well, one thing I know for sure is that there's no changing your mind once you've made it up. Just make sure he has fun, Rogers," Tony says and even though he can't see him at the moment, Steve knows that he has a small smile on his beautiful face.

Steve loves him so much.

"Talk to you later, Steve."

_I love you._

"Yeah. Bye."

As he cuts the line, Steve wonders if these feelings of his would ever go away. He knows that it wasn't healthy to be so hung up on his ex-husband who was going steady with a new boyfriend. He should probably get back out there, he hadn't even slept with anyone after that nameless woman that one night.

After calling the office to let them know that he'd be taking the rest of the day off, Steve drives them back to his apartment.

As they reach their destination, Steve wonders what they should do. What was the ideal bonding thing to do- watch a movie, go hiking, maybe even play catch and ball-

"I hate him." Steve pauses from unlocking the door.

"What?"

"I _hate_ him," Harley repeats, more forceful.

"Who're you talking about, kid?" Steve asks, ushering Harley inside.

"The man," he says, plopping down on the couch. "That man."

"Harley-"

"He's always there, even when I don't want him to be. And he makes Dad so _sad_."

That makes Steve take a step back.

"Is Tony okay-"

"Dad doesn't say anything but I can see it. He makes him so sad all the time and I- I don't understand why-" Harley had gotten so wound up that he had started scratching furiously at his left hand. An old habit he apparently hadn't grown out of even though Steve hadn't seen it in a long while.

He does the only thing he could think of at that moment, Steve hugs his oldest son.

"Calm down. I need you to take a few deep breaths and calm down there, squirt."

"Come home. Come back home," Harley says, sniffling.

Steve wishes he could. God, he wishes he could.

"You know I can't, buddy," he says, instead.

They stay like that for a long while, Harley sobbing into Steve's shoulder, as Steve's mind raced to other things.

Was Tony okay? He had always thought things were going great with Stone, at least Tony always told him so. Maybe it was just a childish tantrum of Harley's or maybe Stone actually was the piece of shit that Steve always knew he would be.

"Don't tell Dad about this," Harley says, finally. "Please."

"I won't," Steve ruffles his kid's hair. "I promise."

After that, he helps Harley clean up and then turns on his comfort movie. It was a movie from Steve's childhood, about a man with iron skin and a golden heart. He used to watch it all the time when his dad got too drunk and he needed to shut out the screaming and crying going on in the background. He hoped that it would help cheer Harley up, too.

When they're halfway through the movie and Harley's lightly dozing off, tired from crying, Steve hears the doorbell ring. He thinks that maybe it's Bucky, dropping by to check if he was still alive. What he doesn't expect is to see Tony standing there, looking awkward, with a Peter who looked like he'd been bawling his eyes out.

"I'm really sorry about this-" Tony starts.

"No, no, come in," Steve eagerly gestures him in. Tony had never been to his apartment. The three years he had lived there, Tony never came.

"Harley? Where's Harley?" Peter asks, tearfully, and Steve guesses the reason for this visit.

"He's in the living room, Pete, but shhh, alright, he might be sleeping."

Peter makes his way to Harley, leaving Steve and Tony alone. Steve doesn't know what to say. They hadn't been alone at all after Nat and Sharon's wedding.

"This- this is nice," Tony tries to break the awkward tension. "This place, it's nice."

Steve didn't think so. His apartment, while maybe big, fancy and aesthetically pleasing, it wasn't a home.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. You really did well for yourself, Rogers."

"Come on, I'll show you around."

As Steve showed him the place, he marvels at how quickly Tony fits there. He wonders if, maybe, this big, empty place would feel like a home if only Tony lived there. He thinks that anywhere could be a home if he was with Tony.

While he was showing him the kitchen, Tony started laughing.

"What's so funny?" Steve asks, narrowing his eyes.

"Do you remember? When we first got a toaster and the first time it did its job you thought it was gonna blow up?"

Steve blushes at the memory.

To be fair, Steve's family had never been able to afford such fancy gadgets. So when that darned thing had made that _loud_ noise in the morning, Steve had panicked and almost thrown it out of the window. He would've done it too if Tony hadn't stopped him.

"Leave me alone, I'm a senior citizen."

"We're the same age, dumbass," Tony says, rolling his eyes and, at that moment, it felt so much like _before_ that Steve almost leaned down to kiss him. However, when he looks down, he sees a red spot on Tony's neck.

"Tony, there's something-" he says, pointing at his own neck.

"What? Oh."

Tony's ears start turning red and Steve realizes what it was.

_Ah. A love-bite, huh?_

The mood sours, immediately, and Steve wishes he never saw it. Wishes he never saw tangible proof that the person he loved the most in the entire world was in love with someone else.

"I- I should go," Tony says, hastily moving out of the kitchen. "It's getting late."

"Does he make you happy?" Steve asks. He doesn't know what answer he wants to receive.

Tony turns back and looks at him with those beautiful, beautiful eyes of his. "Yes. Yes, he does."

Steve wishes he never asked.

When they get to the living room, Steve sees that Peter and Harley had fallen asleep, curled into each other.

"Now what am I gonna do?" Tony asks, sighing.

"They could just spend the night here," Steve offers.

Tony pauses and thinks about it a little.

"Well, you _would_ be picking them up tomorrow-"

"You, too." Steve doesn't know what prompted him to say that.

"What?"

"You spend the night here, too."

"Steve, I can't-"

"It's late." It was only seven p.m. Tony could drive home, safe, easy. "It's so late, Tony."

There's a brief pause, again, and then Tony chuckles.

"Where would I sleep?"

"My room, or the guest room. Any room you want." _So many rooms. I never even had my own room, growing up._

"Dinner?"

"I'll cook."

"You don't know how to."

"I'll learn."

"In a single night?"

Steve blushes, realizing Tony was teasing him.

"Take-out, then," Steve huffed.

"Okay, okay," Tony throws up his hands in a show of defeat. "You win. I'll stay."

Steve breathes a sigh of relief. He didn't want Tony to go back home, back to _him_ , not tonight. Even if it was for a single night, he wanted Tony to be with him instead of Stone.

"Well, help me carry the children to their beds, then," Tony says, moving in to pick up Harley. "You take Peter."

They felt so much like a family that Steve wanted to cry.

After they're done and Tony's washing up, Steve's ordered take-out and is now picking out a movie, he thinks back to when this used to be a weekly occurrence.

Every Saturday night, after Steve got back from work, they would choose a movie based on whose turn it was and eat cheap take-outs.

_"Tony, I swear to God if you choose The Bee movie again-"_

_"It's a good movie."_

_"No, it's not. You just like it because it annoys me."_

_"The children like it."_

_"No, they don't!"_

_"Abugugu!"_

_"See, Peter likes it."_

Steve decides on a superhero film.

It takes a few more minutes until Tony gets back. He's wearing Steve's clothes.

"Hey, uh, Steve, I didn't have any other clothes so I just-" Tony says, looking bashful.

Steve doesn't understand why he's embarrassed. He used to wear his clothes all the time. In fact, there was a time when Tony had worn nothing but Steve's shirt and there was cum, Steve's _cum_ _, dripping down his-_

"No, no. You look," _gorgeous, amazing, perfect,_ "nice. You look nice. The food's here already."

They get settled in nice and comfy, side by side, and start the movie.

"Christmas is soon," Tony says, suddenly.

"Huh?"

"Christmas. It's soon."

"I know?" Steve was confused. Why did he suddenly start talking about Christmas?

"No, I mean, you should come. On Christmas, to the house. I know you don't like going there anymore but- the children would like it. You should come." Tony's not even looking at him.

_He thinks that I hate going to our home. That I hate going to the only place that makes me feel like I belong._

"I will."

Time passes by and the next time Steve looks at him, Tony's sleeping.

He looked so beautiful that Steve's hand itched to put him on paper. But Steve couldn't do that anymore. He hadn't drawn in such a long, long time. His notebook which used to be so full of drawings of Tony and everything he loved, it was empty now.

It was empty.  
__________________________________

Tony wakes up before everyone else.

For a second, just for a second, he thinks that everything is okay. Steve was right there beside him, sleeping with his mouth open like an idiot and everything was fine, everything was like before when Tony was happy.

Then he looks at his surroundings, the too pristine atmosphere, the fancy TV, Steve's beard that he'd grown after the divorce and reality sets in.

Tony knows that he shouldn't have stayed the night. It went against all common sense, to spend a night in your ex-husband's house but Tony never could say no to Steve.

Ty was going to be so mad.

Things were not going well with Ty. They had started out so amazingly, Tony thinks, but went downhill so fast.

But Tony liked Ty. He really, really did. Sure, he didn't love him like he loves Steve but that was an impossible standard. Tony would never love anyone like he loves Steve.

Tony liked Ty and he wanted to make it work. That's why he was willing to overlook him constantly coming over unannounced, him leaving marks in visible places even though Tony had told him numerously not to. Tony was also willing to overlook the frighteningly possessive streak Ty got whenever Steve was concerned, how he could get so forceful and could say such hurtful things, sometimes.

But it was okay, Tony liked Ty.

After cleaning up and changing back to his own clothes, Tony checks his phone and, sure enough, there were seven missed calls from Ty and a bunch of texts.

 _He's going to be so mad_ Tony thinks again.

Tony goes to check in on the kids. Peter had thrown such a fit the last day after learning that Harley would be away for the whole day. Even though always bickering, they were such a tight-knit pair of brothers.

"Tony? You're up?"

It looked like in his haste to get ready, Tony had accidentally woken Steve.

"Yeah, I should probably get going. Sorry if I woke you."

"No, it's alright. I thought you'd stay for breakfast, though," Steve says, scratching his majestic beard.

Tony doesn't get it. How could someone be so attractive even while doing such mundane things?

"No, Ty's probably worried. I should go," he says again, putting on his shoes. "I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?"

"Yeah," Steve says with a sleepy smile.

Tony remembers when they first started living together. Steve used to try to get him to join him on his morning runs and Tony used to _hate_ it. I mean, what sane person wakes up at four a.m everyday?

That all stopped after Steve got more and more busy with his work, though.

The last year of their marriage was not… a happy one. Steve used to never be home and Tony wondered if it was his fault. Wondered if he was doing something so wrong, that he was such a monumental fuck-up that even his husband didn't want to spend time with him anymore. It didn't help that the scant moments Steve _was_ home, they used to fight over the pettiest things. It was, honestly, better for both of them and the children that they broke it off when they did.

The last thing Tony would ever want is to end up hating Steve Rogers.  
__________________________________

Steve was in trouble.

It was only a few days before Christmas and he had no idea, none, on what to get Tony. He had already bought presents for the kids but he couldn't figure out what the man he spent the better part of his life with would want.

"How about that one?" Nat points at a winter cloak.

Steve had dragged Natasha along with him the past few days in his search for the perfect gift. She was one of the only ones in his acquaintance who had a good sense for gifts. Bucky would've just told him to buy some socks and call it a day.

"No, no, Tony already has one like that. Plus, I don't like the color."

"Steve," Nat sighs, "you know, I get what you're trying to do, I really do but I don't see the point of me being here if you're just going to veto everything I pick out. And you know Sharon, _my wife_ who I love and adore, I would like to spend more time with her but I can't do that when I'm being dragged along this never ending quest of yours."

Natasha had gotten so prone to dropping "my wife" in any conversation she had with them. Steve wonders if he was as embarrassing when _he_ first got married. He probably was worse.

"C'mon, Nat, it _has_ to be perfect. It's my first Christmas with him after so long." Three years. It was his first Christmas with Tony after three fucking years. "It has to be perfect."

They spend another hour window shopping, at some point Natasha threatens to stab him if he doesn't decide soon, when something finally catches his eyes.

It was a snow-globe, as cheesy as that sounds. Steve didn't even know they sold these anymore. In the globe there were two lovers, clutching each other so tightly, while it snowed all around. Nothing in the world but them and their dance.

It reminded him of the first Christmas he had with Tony after they got married. They had been, surprisingly, invited to the Stark Mansion. Tony was so excited. No matter what, he always did want to patch things up with his parents.

Things, though, hadn't gone so well.

Steve had gotten into such an explosive shouting match with Howard, he can't even remember about what. Maybe it was how he was criticizing Tony's every move, saying things that you should never, ever say to your own son or maybe it was his continuous snide remarks about Steve's upbringing. Doesn't matter. What does matter is that Tony had been so sad.

_They were walking home from the mansion, too broke to even afford a taxi. Tony was so sad. He didn't say anything but Steve knew he was, the usual hyper verbal man being so quiet and all._

_The bright lights and beautiful decorations did nothing to alleviate the mood, serving to only worsen it as they were reminded of all the things they couldn't afford._

_They were halfway home when Steve got a brilliant idea._

_"Dance with me," Steve says, putting out a hand._

_"Steve, wh-"_

_"It's Christmas. Dance with me."_

_"There's no music," Tony says, smiling sadly._

_"There is. You just have to listen closely." Steve doesn't even know what he, himself, is saying._

_Finally Tony takes his hand and there they were, dancing in the middle of a street with closed shops while the world slept._

_Just the two of them._

Steve decides on the snow-globe.

After buying it, Natasha quickly takes her leave, eager to get home. Steve wonders what it feels like- wanting to go home, knowing that someone's waiting for you. He can't remember anymore.

Steve decides to look around a little more, buy some things for his friends. He had been so caught up in making sure that Tony's gift would be just right that he had neglected everything else.

He's looking at a falcon pin, debating whether it's too tacky or not for Sam when he sees someone he never expected to meet at a jewellery store. Or want to meet anywhere, really.

Tiberius Stone had this easy confidence about him that you can only have when everything in life has been handed to you. It doesn't take him long to notice Steve.

"Rogers! Fancy meeting you here."

"You too," Steve replied curtly. He had no wish to have a conversation with the man.

"Getting something special for a lady friend, huh?" Stone asks with a nudge and a wink as if they were friends. As if Steve could handle the sight of him for more than two minutes.

Steve doesn't even bother to grace that with a response.

That doesn't deter Stone, though. "If you're here anyways, help me out, man."

"With what?"

"Picking out a ring."

Steve stops in his tracks.

"You've done it before, right? Pick out a ring for Tony," Stone says with a smile that looked friendly but Steve knows to be anything but.

It was too soon. It was way too soon. Stone and Tony hadn't even been together for a full year. Things were moving way too fast.

"Wh-wha-"

"I know, I know what you're thinking. But I figured why wait, you know? Tony and I love each other so much, after all."

Steve could feel his throat clog up.

"I- I should go-"

"What, leaving so soon? And here I thought you were going to help me out." Stone's voice is innocent as if he doesn't know, as if he isn't deliberately saying all this to him _knowing_ what Steve feels about Tony.

How could Steve even think about helping him out? Helping another man pick out a ring for the person he loved the most in the entire world?

Steve has no right, he knows he has no right to feel like this. He should be happy, ecstatic that his ex-husband found someone new who loved him so much, who would be able to provide him with so many things that Steve was never capable of, but that didn't stop his heart from feeling like it was going to give out any second.

Steve drives for what feels like hours, not knowing where to go or what to do. He thinks that he should probably get back to his apartment, it was getting late, but the thought of being alone there with only his oppressive thoughts for company made Steve want to hurl.

So he drives and drives until he reaches a place he hadn't been to in such a long time. He looks at the old building and thinks that finally, after such a long and tiring decade, he's finally home.

Steve was standing in front of the first apartment he shared with Tony; the place where their life began.

He could see light coming from his old home and wondered who lives there now. Wonders if they were as happy as Steve and Tony had been.

Steve sometimes thinks that their life should have continued the way it was. Though incredibly poor, they had been so happy, so much happier than Steve was now when he actually did have money.

He sits there for a few more minutes when he realizes that his phone is ringing.

"Hey, Buck."

"Steve, where are you? You told us you were coming over to the bar tonight."

Oh, yeah, he did, didn't he? Steve had thought that after picking the perfect present, he would spend some time with his friends, drinking the night away. Somehow he wasn't in the mood for it anymore.

"Something else came up. Sorry, buddy."

There's a pause.

"You know that you can tell me if something's wrong, right pal?"

Always so intuitive. That's what happens when you know each other your whole life, Steve thinks.

"Nothing's wrong. I just, I just needed some time. Alone."

That was it. Steve just needed some time and he would feel better. He _needed_ to feel better.

Maybe Bucky guesses that Steve doesn't want to talk about it because he doesn't push any farther.

"Well, I'm always here if you wanna talk. Who else is going to get your dumbass back up after the fall, huh?" Bucky says, letting out an exasperated sigh.

He was such a good friend. Steve didn't deserve him, really. Steve probably didn't deserve any of his friends.

"Talk to you later, Buck."

Steve knows that he should get going. It was getting late and he couldn't just sit there staring at an old building.

Steve needed to get back to his apartment.

Steve wanted to go back home.


End file.
